There is a common narrative that I keep seeing, which says that self-care is all about (and only about) mental health, wellbeing and happiness - and it’s driving me a little bit nuts. Self-care is actually about POWER. And it has a revolutionary potential that most people are missing. Self-care is political.It is subversive.It is revolutionary.It is feminist.And if we don’t see that, not only are we missing the whole bloody point of it, but we are not going to get the full benefit of it. And the full benefit of it is not to ‘feel good’ or to ‘improve your mental health’ (which it will, by the way) but to CHANGE YOUR WHOLE DAMN LIFE. And change the lives of the girls and women who will come after us. And to alter the balance of power on the planet for the better. For the good of All.Women have for centuries been denied their full humanity. Not seen as actual people, individuals with hearts, brains, and bodies, with needs and desires and ideas and feelings and opinions. They were seen only as vessels for breeding heirs and offspring, soldiers for the King or Caliph, labourers for the land, and sons to take care of parents in their old age. Women were seen as sexual objects of male desire, the male gaze and male gratification. Their very existence was to serve men, sexually and domestically. Add to this the concept of honour, and women’s bodies became sites of sexual policing, purity politics and violent control. They still are.Women are told – from the USA to Iran – what they are and are not allowed to do with their bodies. Women’s bodies are public property, up for grabs by old men in suits or beards to wrangle over, commodify and decide what is ‘appropriate’ for ‘their women’. They all have an opinion on what women can say, do, learn, wear or work as – and they are ready to impose these views violently. Which they do. Women are having their basic human rights stripped away across the world, and we are crazy to think it doesn’t affect us here. Because no woman is free until all women are free. So when we women take control of our own bodies by practicing self-care, we are subverting the history of men’s control over women’s bodies. We are saying (to quote the spiritual guru MC Hammer) ‘you can’t touch this’. We are saying, I am a fucking PERSON. I get to choose MYSELF. Even if society and governments and religious clergy are busy fighting over the appropriate punishment for women showing their hair or getting abortions, we are busy nourishing our minds and healing our bodies and strengthening our spirits.Taking care of our bodies when others are being attacked just for having a female body. Prioritising our mental health over our never-ending ‘duty’ to serve others. Connecting with other women in circles and walking groups and dance studios and yoga classes, instead of being available to family, work and home. All. The. Time.Doing things that make us feel happy and alive and juicy and flowing with creativity, instead of dried-up, empty and brittle – ready to snap at the next person who asks ask for ‘one more thing’.Our mothers and grandmothers were programmed with the cultural expectation that a ‘good’ woman was a hard-working woman. A self-sacrificing woman. A doing-everything-for-everyone, never-say-no, always-smiling-never-complaining, never-tired-always-available woman.Todays’ women who are practicing self-care are taking one step towards breaking this generational curse of women’s exploitation. It is sticking two fingers up to the patriarchy. Healing ancestral trauma that has been passed down for generations. Dissolving imprints of over-giving and martyrdom that are in our DNA, even if intellectually we ‘think’ we are free from injustice, the programming is there like a hologram or a shadow following us around until we look at it directly and say ‘I am ready to do things differently. And in doing so I free myself and I free my mother and I free the daughters of the future who are yet to be born’.When we start to practice self-care of the body, mind and spirit, we are returning the Feminine back to her rightful place as an equal worthy of Love, Dignity and a sense of Self. This true sense of ‘self’ as women is actually a new concept in the Western world (I mean women were legally considered the property of men), and something that existed in original Islamic teachings but was deliberately erased as the religion came to be instrumentalised in service of the patriarchy.We are now collectively recovering from this systemic erasure of women’s worth.But it’s new and different. It has not been done before. That’s why it can feel so wrong or so difficult to prioritise our health and wellbeing. Even if we know we should, or we really want to, we find excuses or say we don’t have the time, or that it’s ‘not that bad’. It is that bad.This is our programming, encoded in our DNA. The hologram of cultural conditioning that runs deep in our bones and blood and sinew, that says we have no right to complain, our mothers had it worse, our sisters in other parts of the world have it worse right now, so we should stop asking for too much and just be grateful.BUT. We can appreciate what we have AND make space for more of what we want. We can be generous and giving AND have boundaries. We can show love and care to our families, AND to ourselves.It is not an either/or situation.It is a both/and situation.The patriarchy is built on a value system of hierarchy and duality which always tells us that we must choose, to pick a side as if everything is a war; career or family, faith or feminism, self or others, deen or dunya. And one is always seen as better than the other. But this is a fallacy and a spiritual misdirection. We do not have to choose, we only have to choose the truth of our hearts to know that Allah, as the All-Loving, All-Compassionate and Just One, wants for us what we want for ourselves. And in the same way, when we serve ourselves, we are serving Others and the Whole.So see your self-care – whether that’s a meditation practice, a daily walk, journaling, yoga, a a skincare regime, an art class, reading personal-development books, or taking an afternoon nap – as a Sacred, Revolutionary act. You are contributing to the collective healing of the wound of female subjugation, and therefore to the re-balancing of the Earth.Every time a woman takes care of herself, she is taking care of us All.And remember to be kind to yourself as you bravely walk this path of self-discovery and healing. We are pioneers and curse-breakers and daughters of the revolution, and sometimes there will be pushback. Its ok, keep going Sister. It will be worth it.Take care my Queens 👑 With Love &amp; Power, Aaliyah

Every time a woman takes care of herself, she helping all women - and the Earth itself. 

Self-Care is How We Smash The Patriarchy

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Self-Care is How We Smash The Patriarchy

Self-Care is How We Smash The Patriarchy

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